byootaful

It’s been a long time since I went through my stats pages, so I think I’m about due for a Googlicious post, where I go through the search terms people have used to get to my blog and basically share some of the more interesting ones. It’s amazing what some people will type into Google … and even more amazing that they somehow ended up on my blog! Makes me really think hard about what I’ve been writing about.

how to get cement off a car
Okay, we’re all thinking it so I’ll put it out there – how on earth did you get cement on your car in the first place? Is it like a little scraping of cement, or a big block smack bang on the roof? I want pictures! As for how to get it off … no idea. I assume some Spray’n'Wipe just won’t do the trick in this situation.

my cat is addicted to fish and chips
You feed your cat fish and chips?! This is how to fix your cat’s addiction – STOP FEEDING IT FISH AND CHIPS! A cat can’t (as far as I know) work a deep fryer, so if you stop providing it with the fish and chips, it’ll stop eating it. Unless it’s a really smart cat, I guess. But still – fish and chips? You’ve got to be kidding.

you ate my f@&ing cat
No, I didn’t.

it’s my day off and my cat woke me up at 3am
Join the club! Solution is to close your bedroom door, or put your cat in the garage or laundry (with food, water, toys and kitty litter) for the night. Trust me, you’ll thank me for the uninterrupted sleep.

how to quit biting your nails without buying anything
It’s all in your head – your determination and commitment is what is going to make you stop biting your fingernails. You can buy things like nail strengthener or nasty tasting nail polish, but those are add-ons – if you are really determined to quit, put your mind to it and you can do it. I would recommend buying a nail file – something you can use when you’re tempted to bite, because you want to turn that moment into a positive moment for your nails.

where is codfish sperm manufactured from?
No idea, but Phill’s eaten some in Japan before. Heh.

bathing your cat for the first time
Be prepared! Check out my post on how to bathe your cat here. Remember not to bathe your cat when it’s cold because they can get sick very quickly. Good luck!

i gave my cat a bath she’s licking herself dry will that damage her?
No – cats instinctively lick themselves to clean and dry themselves. If the shampoo isn’t all washed off, excess consumption of shampoo can make a cat sick, so make sure you use pet shampoo, not human, and thoroughly rinse the shampoo off. You can dry your cat with a towel and let her lick the rest dry.

my sister wedding porno gay
Uh… what?

cute aussie blogger
Why thank you!

me and my cat neck
Wait … doesn’t “neck” mean “make out”? You and your cat make out? Uh, backing away now…

Haha they were pretty interesting. What are some of the weirdest search terms you’ve encountered on your blog?