Yes, I totally stole the title from Alyndabear but it’s just so perfect for this post I had to have it! You see, I’ve been spending some time in my stats (not as exciting as it might sound) and the search terms and phrases people have used to get to my blog have just been so amusing, I had to share them with you. It’s been a while since I’ve done a post like this, so I’m overdue anyway. So, here we go…

cat is scared of shaver what do i do?
Your cat is intelligent. Your cat has associated the noise of the shaver with the loss of fur and that, my friend, is why your cat is scared and no doubt freaks out and runs away when you whir it to life. How about not turning on the shaver around your cat and if you’re shaving your cat, leave it to the professionals.

what was “junket”?
A nightmare and disgusting blob of nothingness. Read about my (failed) experience with Junket here.

knock out a cat to give it a bath
Holy crap! If you’re considering knocking out your cat in order to bathe it, then you’re not doing it right and you shouldn’t be doing it at all! If you want your cat bathed, take it to a professional because obviously this is one skill you’ve not quite mastered yet.

signs your hard drive is dying?
This one’s a popular question. My hard drive died and took my entire blog with it, making me start again afresh (it SUCKED!) and the only signs I noticed, as a non-computer-literate-person, was that my laptop was getting very very slow. Like, I could go downstairs and make myself a cup of tea and a loaf of bread in the time between pressing the power button and the laptop being usable.

“i drive barefoot”
Me too! I literally cannot drive with shoes on. If I go out in joggers I have to take them off to drive and then put them back on. I can drive in socks but no shoes.

how do garden snails poop
You know what? I’ve never really thought about this. I guess they do it like every other thing that poops – it comes out of their butt. Wait … do snails have butts?

my long haired cat keeps losing his fur
Did you look the last place he had it? Hahaha… I crack myself up! Cats lose their fur, it’s called shedding and it SUCKS big time, especially when you have cream carpet and a black cat, but it’s a fact of life you’ve just got to get used to. Brushing your cat daily helps reduce the amount of fur being shedded, but you could brush all day and still keep getting more hair on the brush (and probably bite marks on your face from an angry cat).

harry and the halfblood priss
I have nothing to comment on this one… it just made me giggle. I pictured Snape in a dress being all prissy because then he would be the half blood priss, not the half blood prince!

Ok that’s me done. What sort of search terms do you get at your blog? Amusing? Freaky? Or just plain weird?