I’ve been completely flat-out for the last couple weeks due to a number of reasons, but perhaps the main reason would be that I am playing piano at a friends’ wedding this weekend so I’ve been gathering music and practicing every spare moment I have so that everything goes to plan. Last night, as Phill and I were heading to bed, I rattled off a verbal check-list to ensure I had everything ready – the music for each part of the ceremony had been chosen and I had the sheet music printed off and ready to play. Everything was ready.

Then, Phill asked, “So what are you wearing?” and I had a mini panic attack.

I’d sort of forgotten that I need to buy a dress for the wedding. I’ve already mentioned that, this year, Phill and I will be attending four weddings (three of which involve the same bunch of friends) so I have to buy at least three dresses. I groaned when I realised I had only left myself a day and a half to purchase a dress, since I work Thursday afternoon. And then I groaned again at the prospect of having to go dress shopping because I absolutely detest dress shopping. Which is why, this morning as I spent three hours trying on dress after dress, I was becoming grumpier and grumpier.

Here’s 10 reasons why I hate dress shopping:

1. Having to undress and redress numerous times in numerous dressing rooms in numerous stores throughout the day. It’s a pain in the backside and today, without thinking, I wore jeans and a T-shirt which proved hard to pull on and off. I should have worn my maxi dress, which would have been so much easier.
2. The inevitable let-down when a dress looks stunning on the rack but terrible on me. It’s a crushing blow to my self-esteem, especially when the size I chose should have fit, but is too small, or clings badly.
3. Not being able to find my size. I found a few gorgeous dresses today, but only in size 6, 8 and 10. It’s terrible going through the rack, checking each size with growing dread, which explodes into frustration and annoyance when the last dress is only a 10.
4. The extortionate prices! Seriously, how much does it cost to create a dress? I know I’ve got to be prepared to shell out a bit of cash for a dress suitable for a wedding, but prices upwards of $500 for a dress that doesn’t look like it’s gold plated is ridiculous. The dress I wore to the previous two weddings this year cost me $100 and I haven’t worn it since, so I was determined to spend less this time around and to buy something that I would definitely be able to wear again. I ended up finding two dresses; one sexy black number for $50 and a blue flowy one for $20, which was half price. I couldn’t believe it. The black one isn’t appropriate for a wedding but it’s something I might wear out to dinner or an engagement party.
5. Having my OCD cause me to triple check dresses before buying them, discounting them immediately at any sign of damage. I find the perfect dress, it fits wonderfully, but then I spot a tiny snag, or a pleat that isn’t sitting quite right, and I can’t buy it. It’s frustrating! So today I made Kate history when I bought the blue dress because one of the pleats isn’t quite right, but I can iron it into place. I struggled for a while with the decision, but for $20 I couldn’t refuse!
6. Annoying shop assistants. They either stalk you to the point of walking into your dressing room or are nowhere to be found when you actually want their help. The first store I went into, I couldn’t even get changed in peace because the shop assistant was banging on the dressing room door asking me if I was okay, but the second store was worse because I had tried on a dress and it didn’t fit, but when I stuck my head out to find an attendant to grab me another size, there was nobody there. I had two choices – take the dress off, put my clothes back on, then go get the other dress, come back and get changed again OR I could rush out into the store barefoot and in the badly-fitting dress to grab another one. Guess what I did.
7. Having to dodge the terribly sparkly prom dresses the attendants try to force on you. No thankyou, I don’t want to look like a giant piece of glitter, I want to look sophisticated and mature. I walked into a new store today, nearly had a heart attack and walked back out again. Every single dress was covered in sparkles and diamontes, with low fronts and even lower backs – it was like a horror movie.
8. Having to come face-to-face with my huge hip problem. I have child-bearing hips and I know it, but it’s still frustrating to try on a dress that fits everywhere except for the hips. That’s why I was so surprised with my little black dress purchase – it’s the first tightish-fitting dress that didn’t make me look like my hips were huge!
9. Annoying zippers that simply don’t zip up! It’s so hard when you’re in a dressing room by yourself to zip up your dress when they put the zippers in the weirdest and hardest-to-reach places. The amount of muscle spasms I gave myself trying to zip up my dress was crazy. And then the material gets caught in the zip and gah… so frustrating!
10. Not finding a damn dress! That’s the most frustrating thing about dress shopping! You spend hours and come up empty handed. So sure, today I found two dresses but normally, I promise you I don’t find anything. I’m very surprised at my success today, it’s most unusual.

Do you like dress shopping? Or clothes shopping? (If you do, you’re crazy!)

Anyway I’d better get back to the piano.