Yesterday we got hit with a pretty bad dust storm which left the world looking very orange for the majority of the day. I managed to get Puddy inside and close all the doors and windows before it really arrived, which spared me the painful task of cleaning up a dusty house today. I didn’t get a fantastic photo but here’s one I took around lunchtime, when the sky should have been blue and the sun should have been shining brightly:

It was a pretty miserable, orange day.

This morning, the skies had cleared so I let Puddy outside. I discovered my mistake when she came in hours later – completely covered in dust and dirt! She’d obviously been rolling about in all the excess dirt left behind by the storm and now she was absolutely filthy!

Trust me, the photo doesn’t do it justice – it was seriously the dirtiest I’ve ever seen her! So anyway, there was only one thing to do – it was bathtime for Puddy! Or, as I said out loud to myself, “It’s B-A-T-H-T-I-M-E!” (Yes, I swear she can understand particular words like “dinner” and “bathtime”. It’s freaky.)

Now, let me preface this by saying I don’t believe bathing your cat is cruel and anyone who says it is simply isn’t doing it right! Cats clean themselves a lot and they do a good job, but sometimes (like when they are covered in dirt and dust) you really do need to step in and give them a hand. I figured I haven’t done a proper post on this before, so I grabbed my camera and decided to document how to bathe your cat (without losing an eye).

Step One – Run a Bath

Do this while your cat is elsewhere in the house (and make sure she can’t get outside!). If your cat is in the bathroom while you’re running the bath, she will panic and you don’t want that – you want her to be as calm as possible. Make sure the bath is warm, not cold. How deep to make the bath depends on your cat – I have found that Puddy is more tolerant of a deeper bath that almost reaches (but doesn’t touch) her belly, but your cat might prefer shallower. I definitely wouldn’t recommend any deeper than their belly.

Step Two  – Get the Bathroom Ready

This involves clearing the space around the bath of anything your cat might knock over. Get rid of razors, books – anything that might get damaged or do damage to you or your cat. Lie one (old ratty) towel down on the floor and have another one ready, to the side. Take the lid off the pet shampoo bottle (trust me, you’ll want it ready to go). Please don’t try to use human shampoo. You can buy pet shampoo at the Vet’s or a good quality Pet Store.

Step Three – Find your Cat

Give your cat plenty of cuddles, scoop her up and take her calmly to the bathroom. If she’s anything like my cat, she’ll know exactly what’s going to happen and will start to meow. I guess now is a good time to remind you to make sure her nails are clipped before you try this. Anyway, bring her inside the bathroom and make sure the door is closed. Take off her collar and put it somewhere safe. Try to calm her down, but don’t spend too long on this. She knows she’s getting a bath, so don’t put off the inevitable if she’s not going to easily calm down. I swear she’s just hoping you’ll give in and let her go.

Step Four – Gently Lower your Cat into the Bath

I’ve found the easiest way to hold your cat is to put your hand just below her neck in front of the top of her legs, with your thumb coming up around the neck, along the shoulders. Obviously, don’t hold her around the neck. I’m not explaining this well, so here is a photo to help you:

See how I am not strangling my cat? The reason I hold her this way is because her first reaction is to want to jump out of the bath. To do that, she’d have to press against my hand, so of course, she’s not going to be going anywhere. Keep your cat facing the wall or lengthways down the tub (like she is in the above photo). You don’t want her to be able to grab a hold of the edge of the bathtub, because then she will be able to catapault herself out, sending water everywhere.

Step Five – Dampen your Cat’s Fur

Scoop up handfuls of water and pat it onto her back. I use a “patting” motion because it helps to keep your cat calm since they (generally) like being patted. Make sure she is nice and wet, but be careful with the eyes and ears – you don’t want to get water in those. I usually just do under her chin, under her ears (cheeks) and the top of her head. If your cat gets water in her eyes she’s likely to panic and if she gets water in her ears it can be difficult to get out again, which could lead to infection. Don’t keep her in the water for too long – either take her out or allow her to jump out once she’s wet. Remember that water will stick to a cat’s fur, so it’s not necessary to completely drench her.

Step Six – Shampoo your Cat

Put a squirt of shampoo down your cat’s back and rub it in. You might need to keep dipping your hands in the water because as you are shampooing your cat, a lot of loose fur will come off onto your hands. This is good – this is less fur on your furniture and carpet and of course, less fur for your cat to cough up later! Don’t forget to do under her belly and the top of her head (once again being careful to avoid the eyes or ears). Be gentle when you are doing her belly because the belly is a sensitive area for cats, as is the tail.

Step Seven – Rinse off the Shampoo

Lower your cat back into the water and hold her while you rinse off the shampoo by scooping up water with your free hand. It is important to do a thorough job here because you don’t want your cat to lick shampoo when she is cleaning herself afterwards. I find that, while Puddy is in the water, she responds well to my continuous talking, like “Good girl! You’re being so good!” in a calm, steady voice. Once again, be aware of her body language – keep your hand firmly in place to avoid a sudden leap for freedom.

Step Eight – Dry your Cat

Once the shampoo has gone, get your cat out or allow her to jump out. This is where the spare towel comes in handy. Grab that and give her a good pat dry. Don’t rub too hard, just give her a once-over to help the excess water come off. The aim now is to get her dry as quickly as possible. Cats can catch a cold, so if there’s a cold breeze, you need her to find sun and warmth quickly. I don’t recommend washing your cat in winter or at night-time, for obvious reasons.

There’s two ways to get your cat dry. The first way is to use your hairdryer on a very low setting. Your cat might not like this but Puddy doesn’t seem to mind. Just make sure you don’t hold it too close to her skin – you don’t want her to burn, and avoid blowing it in her eyes. The second way is to ensure she finds the sun. Puddy has a favourite room that she always runs to because it’s always got a nice hot Australian sun coming through the window.

If your cat is sitting in the sunlight and licking herself dry, she’s okay to leave alone. If she’s not in the sunlight, you need to put her in sunshine and watch her until she starts to dry. As I said – they can catch a cold very easily and their fur does seem to hold a lot of water. Oh, and don’t try to brush her fur while it’s wet – this can be painful for your cat.

Step Nine – Reward Your Cat

Your cat needs to know that you didn’t do this to be mean – you did it to make her nice and clean. Keep treats on hand that you can give her and of course, pats and loving words go down nicely too. Then, give her some space to clean herself – she’ll need time to regain her dignity! Trust me when I say she will seek you out about 20 minutes later, sit on your lap and continue to clean herself for another half hour. This is, what I like to call, my punishment.

At this stage, your cat might like you to brush her – you’ll get a lot of fur off and this will save her licking it up.

Step Ten – Clean Up the Bombshell Bathroom

Don’t forget about the bathroom, as I have done before. It will be very wet and very furry, so you’ll need to clean it up. Remember to get your cat’s collar and put it back on her as soon as she’s dry – you don’t want her getting outside without her identification on her. In fact, you don’t want her getting outside at all for a while, because now she’s beautifully fluffy, clean and smelling delicious!

So there you go – I hope this has helped if you’re intending on bathing your cat for the first time. I don’t do it often – probably once every few months when she comes inside really dirty. Indoor cats probably don’t need washing at all  since they’re not exposed to dirt, dust, sand, soil and other dirty things you find outside.  But if you’ve got a cat like mine, that seems to attract dirt, you may need to give her a bath once in a while.

Oh … and wear old clothes, because you’re going to get splashed.

I woke up early this morning to go to work and now I’m back at home, curled up on the couch with my head pressing into the pillow in an attempt to stop it from pounding. The Panadol Rapid I took ten minutes ago isn’t rapid enough – my head feels like I’ve been run over by a truck and my body is all achey. For someone who doesn’t often get headaches, this is pretty unbearable. I can’t imagine how people suffer through migraines.

Puddy seemed rather excited that I’m home – after all, I wasn’t due back for another five hours. She’s been running around like a headless chook, so I let her go outside to hopefully calm down. However, it’s really windy out there and she’s scared of the wind, so every few minutes when the wind really picks up, she comes bolting inside for safety. Eventually she ventures outside again and the whole process will repeat itself.

Normally it’s cute. Today, not so much.

I hope your day is going better than mine!

I confess – I am a fish & chips addict. I can’t go past a delicious dinner of crispy fried fish and crunchy chips, served with an aoli or tartare sauce and of course, green mushy peas, yum! So when Phill and I decided to travel to England, I knew I had to give myself a mission – to find the perfect fish & chips. Where else would I find this than in the pubs of England? I knew this mission would be risky – after all, I’d be hoping to get through numerous plates of fried food, but I just couldn’t help myself. The diet could start as soon as I was back in Australia. Until then, bring it on!

My first taste of real English fish & chips was at a pub in London. We ate lunch in the beer garden, which had a fantastic atmosphere. Sadly, the fish & chips were not impressive. As you might be able to see from the photo, the fish batter was extremely greasy, resulting in little pools of yellow-coloured grease on the plate. Now, I’m not shy of a little grease, but I do have my limits.

The fish was actually quite nice – inside the greasy batter was white, fluffy fish which tasted delicious. I ended up pulling the fish meat out of the batter so I could eat it while avoiding the oily casing. The mushy peas were wonderful – I think it’s almost impossible to ruin mushy peas. Almost.

The next fish & chips I tried was in Brighton, on Brighton Pier. While the pub we’d visited for the first round of fish & chips was quite out of the way,  down a random quiet street, Brighton Pier is a major tourist attraction so I was weary that the fish & chips were most likely going to be mass-produced and disappointing.

I wasn’t wrong.

Greasy fish, disappointing obviously re-heated chips and cold mushy peas that tasted old and flavourless. After a few minutes tackling this meal I decided I owed my body enough to stop eating fish & chips – all this grease was a little nauseating. I didn’t end up finding the best fish & chips in England, but that doesn’t mean it’s not there somewhere. I just didn’t stumble upon it, so let me ask you:

Where can I find the best fish & chips?

Last night I was finally climbing into bed when I heard the television remote control fall to the floor with a thump. Damn. I leaned over the edge of the mattress and peered around in the dark, trying to spot it, but I couldn’t see it at all. What the hell? I just heard it fall, it couldn’t have gone that far!

I switched on the (totally cool) lava lamp next to the bed. It’s got glitter in it so it casts a very dim light over the room – enough for me to hopefully see the remote without disturbing the darkness of the night. I looked around on the floor, but still couldn’t see it. Now this was starting to bug me, so, reluctantly, I got out of bed and, on my hands and knees, looked under the bed in case it had somehow ended up under there.

I saw something black and reached for it, assuming it was the remote.

I quickly recoiled. It was not the remote.

Please don’t be poop, please don’t be poop, was all I was thinking as I took the lava lamp out of its socket so the full glare of the bulb would light up the room. I peered under the bed again.

Not poop, it was a hairball. Possibly a few days old. Dry and disgusting.

Luckily it didn’t stain the carpet. As hairballs go, it was actually not too bad. It’s not often Puddy coughs up a hairball, but when she does – and it’s fresh – it’s enough to make me gag. Obviously Puddy figured coughing one up under the bed meant she could keep it for a while, since it’s not often I venture under there. Thanks, cat.

Once my clean-up was done (don rubber gloves, pick up hairball with a tissue, spray carpet, lightly scrub with a damp towel, dab dry), I realised I still didn’t know where the remote was. With the room now lit up, I scanned the entire floor.

Turns out it had fallen off Phill’s side of the bed, not mine.

Puddy entered the room and came over, obviously interested in what I was doing on my hands and knees, halfway under the bed. She sniffed around the spot where she’d left her present, looked at me for a moment then jumped up onto the bed and curled up next to Phill.

Point taken.